Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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