my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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