I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
