"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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