She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
