i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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