he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
