And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
