Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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