2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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