i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
What drink are we having for lunch?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
