I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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