He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
