ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she smelled like a LAN party
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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