Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
