Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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