Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
