Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
