just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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