That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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