New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
