So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize