how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
