no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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