Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
