The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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