OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
