its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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