Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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