dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
