At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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