she smelled like a LAN party
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
