well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
