Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
