That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My vagina is officially offended.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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