is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
