i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize