you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
