How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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