so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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