I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I want to fling myself into the sun
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
