Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
