Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
