is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
