All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
