We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Come see our sink grown plant.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
