i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
