After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
