i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
