my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Quick, to the slutcave!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
