the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize