It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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