Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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